Forget normal sex - and make love again!
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| Forgot normal sex - and make love again! |
Ayshah Shah, our sex journalist, questions herself if he can "make love" if he's not in love – but he has discovered a pretty obvious answer.
Today is humid. My hair, now gone blond, fastened onto my head with my enormous, untidy bun, and seeing my pets battered, is sitting at my computer in shorts that are too big. I know what I want to write about exactly, not just how. Forgive me, then, if a bit puzzled becomes today's piece.
I keep on writing (allegedly) about new sex positions - more flagrant, nastier, more acrobatic. It is often mentioned that everyone with orgasm guarantees, which I doubt. Since certain jobs require step-by-step guidance because it is so difficult. If you ask me, it's not too climaxing. Now I wouldn't introduce anything dull or totally unworkable to you. Well, I'll make an exception if it's humorous. But I do want to remind you and myself of something that I miss in all the hip bed sports in this essay.
#Again, make love.
Don't fuck. Don't fuck. Do not fuck. Make love. Make love. Hold on, be near, extremely familiar, staring into one another for a short moment, laugh with one another, groan with the other, tremble together – sometimes I miss it. You know, you can have sex at every corner in Berlin using Tinder as a single lady. The truth is. It must by no means be wrong, just the opposite. But he has little soul ever. And soulless sex is what the aforementioned gymnastics are at the end of the day: a performance. Sex With Someone I Hate (Read, too?)? Can be wonderful)
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| Forgot normal sex - and make love again! |
#When you're not in love, how do you make love?
At the moment, though, I'm not performing, but something genuine that feels wonderful and that I can grip with both hands, not something so delicate that you just get pieces left. It's just dumb that right now I'm not in love. How are you doing love, then? The Tinder sex performance remains all that?
#No, not that. There's a lot more. You don't have a partner to make love, even be in love.
The trick is to engage with someone else. Not only a little but all, with everything that you have and are at that time. Of course, with every Otto, it's not working, but only with those in us that activates something. What is important isn't it. It's just that. One day you may be attracted physically by the woman you met. Emotionally perhaps. The key thing is that you think a bit more about them than you anticipated. But this is a sense that makes you susceptible. It's far from in love. And vulnerability is what first and foremost makes lovemaking possible. The variation sans... good love, too.
#Forget whatever you heard about excellent sex!
Now, then? It's difficult to welcome a coffee and lovemaking in your Berghain strategy. Just wait and see. Wait and see. When you and this fascinating individual end up in bed, you forget all about excellent sex (yes, my very sincere recommendations included), and do what you feel.
Want to grab the lovely face of the guy in her hands and ran her fingers over her lips, who is finally next to you after two weeks' WhatsApp text? Do this. Do it. Do you kiss and stare at each other's garments while you rip off? Do this. Do it. Forget your mates and your big brothers and your favorite rappers' lyrics – you needn't be fucking aggressive and selfish to be good at bed as an individual as possible. If you don't feel like it, you don't have to perform the fundamental kissing, fondling, licking, and sticking routine. Just as I do not have to provide the submissive playmate at least 20 minutes as a lady, because I have standard sucking.
Be enthusiastic, committed, domineering, obedient, unselfish, vulnerable – exactly as you feel. And then allow yourself to come close. Really close. Really close.
Perhaps because of pure sex knowledge and who has the longer attitude, we neglected this for a minute on the route to the high-sex gods we feel destined to be. But I promise: to have love is like biking. You do not forget that. Do not forget. You only need to remember how to do it sometimes.
Bye Bye...
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