Why is dating so confusing | Giving up on love
Do you ever feel like, no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to get lucky in love? You are trying all things; going out to meet new people, dating apps, trying to engage in conversations with people and hoping to find a deeper connection with them, and being open-minded to the possibility of finding love. Despite all that, do you feel discouraged?
Are you wondering where your right match is?
It's a daunting task. If being vulnerable is not always something that sits well with you, have your numerous experiences of trying to pursue romantic relationships made throwing in the towel a tempting prospect? Especially when there is a lack of social and physical contact and the obstacles that come with that. It's definitely hard to pursue romantic relationships.
Before we begin, here's a quick reminder that this article is for educational purposes only and not to suggest that these signs mean that you have given up on finding love or that you should if you are feeling like this. Reaching out to people you trust, to talk about how you are feeling, can be a great help. With that said, here are 6 common signs that you have unintentionally given up on love.
1.if a date does not go as planned, you are terminated.
Before going in, do you have certain expectations about the date? Only to discover that it falls woefully short of their expectations? You may feel that you have a good connection with a person prior to the date, but when you meet in person, it just doesn’t feel right.
But instead of being honest with that person and telling them that you are not feeling it, you find yourself beating yourself up about why you can’t find the right person and may feel like you are starting to mentally give up.
2.you don’t take opportunities to meet new people anymore.
Do phrases like 'I know how it's going to go' or 'I know it's not going to work out sound familiar? You shut down potential opportunities for friends or family to set you up with somebody because you are quick to assume the worst.
It is harder now to let your guard down and get out of that negative mindset. If you feel that you’d rather binge on Netflix than go out and meet people, that may suggest that, mentally, you might be giving up on seeking love.
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3.you feel jealous when you see or are around other couples.
Ever feel like everybody around you is in a relationship but you? Do you constantly feel like the third wheel? You may notice that your friends are starting to settle down into long-term relationships, cohabitation, and even marriage, and, as a result, you find yourself drifting further and further away from them. Whether it's on purpose or not, if you're unhappy about being single, being around people who are romantically involved may be too much to bear.
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4.You have gotten it into your head that everybody is playing games.
Ever been in a relationship where you’ve experienced game-playing or gaslighting? Have you ever been the victim of ghosting? Did your previous relationship leave you unsure of your position? These negative experiences can taint your view of everyone around you.
You have built up a fortress around you to prevent this from happening again. Sometimes, it can feel easier to label all people as ‘players’ and give up on the possibility of love than face the challenge of finding and making it work with a great person.
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5.You may consider settling for someone you don’t love or if you have unrealistic expectations.
There are benefits to having a life partner, even if the two of you are not passionately in love. You may be perfectly happy with this. However, on the other hand, you may feel like you have to settle rather than wait for the love of your life.
If you feel like you have settled or are considering settling for Mr or Mrs. Good Enough, this may suggest that you are losing faith in the real deal. On the other hand, you may set unrealistic expectations about who you want to be with, when, in reality, this person may not exist. Your unticked checklist may result in you giving up on the prospect of love altogether.
6.you feel that you are unable to love another person deeply.
Do you feel as though you have never been in love? Do you question your previous relationships and wonder whether what you were feeling was ‘real’ or that you loved that other person? This questioning may challenge your perception of love. If it was real, why wasn’t it enough? You begin to doubt yourself because it ended despite your best efforts.
It unintentionally makes you question whether you will ever be able to love somebody else, or even whether you can be loved by another person. Feeling down when a relationship does not work is not something to be ashamed of. But that does not mean all hope is lost. And it certainly does not label you as less. It is important to know that these are common signs, but it does not mean that you have given up on love or that you can not feel love.
Speaking to people you trust if you have negative thoughts about relationships or dating can be of great help. Mental health professionals can help you remediate these thoughts and start afresh. So, stay strong and never let go of what you believe in.
We hope we were able to give you an insight into some of the ways you can tell if you have begun to give up on love. If you feel like you can relate to any of these signs, please feel free to share your experiences in the comments below. If you find this article helpful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with those out there who have given up on love.
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References/;
- 4 Signs You have given up on love unintentionally (n.d.). www.Bustle.com/articles/183564-4-markings-youve-done-on-love inadvertently.
- You accidentally gave up on love, 10 signs (2016, January 25). Bolde. Bolde.com/10-signs-you-donate-love-donated-accidentally.
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